Empty Wallet

I want to say, it hadn't been planned for my wallet to buy any clothes today...

I went out with my sister because she wanted to go shopping. She lives in Yugawara city which locates close to Hakone (you know there is nothing but hot springs, lol). So, whenever she comes back here, she wants to go shopping. Even though here is rural area in Tokyo, it's still something "urban" compared to the place she lives.

Anyway, guess what happens if two girls go shopping. I found a cute one-piece dress at a store. I don't have any plans to attend someones wedding party or high-end restaurants for now (hey, does anyone take me to such places?! :P), but that one-piece dress is kind of something I can wear in such a situation :) It's not that gorgeous (I'm too shy to wear really pretty clothes ^_^;), but looks good enough for beginner like me, lol. Anyway, JUST TRYING IT ON IS FREE. But it's a whisper of devil at the same time. Yes, I bought it!! (clap clap orz)

Let me make an excuse. I've found a very cute one-piece dress before. I tried it on, and it looked ok. However, I felt somewhere was tight...so I didn't buy it (T_T) It's hard to find right size clothes I really like. Therefore it was kind a good thing I bought it today...if only I am rich...

Now, I got a pretty one-piece dress. But I still have to find something I can wear on it, and some shoes and bag which suit them :) And of course, I have to get a chance to go somewhere I can wear them :P

Just Envy, Just Jealous, Want To Live In A Dream

Just wanna tell, his words impress me. I don't know why, but I like his notes. It's hard to explain by words tho. Mostly, the topics are about small things. Small things..but they make me smile and I feel something warm in my heart. I might be just envying him because he has something I want.

Ah..I miss Cambodia. Actually, I miss traveling. How does it feel going to other countries by myself without having a shortly limited time? How does it feel using local transportation to move from place to place carrying a backpack?

Hey, how was your 16 hours bus ride to Laos?
Hey, why can you go somewhere with someone you don't know?
Hey, please tell me about the stories you met during your trip.

IF, I get a chance to meet him again, I have a lot of things to ask. I want to listen to his stories, I want to browse his pictures :)

Of course he was overcharged or cheated sometimes. He was even robbed money in Chiang Mai. But beside getting into such troubles, he didn't stop being concerned with people. I know not everyone is bad. Maybe most of people are kind. However, in the situation of being on a trip, probably most people who are coming close to us by themselves have some mind of getting benefit. On his note, he wrote that being in countries like Cambodia or Vietnam, he was naturally overcharged by taxis, it was not rare today's price was different from yesterday at the same store, and in the end, he was asked for a direction, so he told kindly, but after all, he was soaked money and he was kind of distrusted people because of such troubles. But when he went to Thailand, he met a nice woman. They went eat together, and she didn't let him pay for the meal and stuff.

He says; I've been tricked, and it sometimes made me feel it might be better not to be nice to people. But being with her, I really thought it was good that I'm not one of the people who deceive. Maybe she wanted to make a tourist who came to her country happy. If I am in Japan, and if I get to know someone who's visiting Japan from over sea, I definitely want them to go back to their country with happy feelings. It feels like I was told that I should do so by being with her. If I feel "Thailand is a very good country" because of only one person, it's possible for a Japanese to make someone feel "Japan is a very good country" from his/her bottom of the heart.

I wonder how many troubles he was involved during his trip. It's really good he is alive. I also wonder how many marvelous things he met!

Again, how does it feel going to other countries by myself without having a shortly limited time? How does it feel using local transportation to move from place to place carrying a backpack? It makes chances to share time with local people...I'm sure it's risky, but isn't it fun at the same time? I can experience something I can never experience being a full package tour staying at a gorgeous hotel :) I'm not interested in duty-free stores or high-end hotels. I'd rather feel local atmosphere.

I just envy, just jealous. I want to do the same thing he's doing. However, it's risky. It's like jumping into the sea naked. I may get into a lot of troubles under the sea, and however I come back to the seaside safely, I'm naked.

Freedom is not just free. I sacrifice something, bear responsibility, and get the freedom instead. I'm still not brave to throw everything away and jump into a dream land. But I know, it's up to me if I choose stable but boring life or risky but exciting life.

P.S. Please don't get mad about writing about your note. I don't know if you read this, but I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with someone who reads my blog :)

New Step

A few months ago, I accomplished my small but kind a greatest step; going to Cambodia alone. I had fun there. I got a chance to do something that maybe I would never experience if I went there with someone. I was satisfied when I finished it. I came back safely and there was no troubles. Ordinary life felt monotonous and boring for a while and I missed Cambodian air. And, then...WHAT???? I didn't expect that I would feel what I feel now this early, and at the same time, the environment is letting me take a step forward...I'm going to take another step.

Actually, last time wasn't that adventurous. I worried before going, but everything was fine. Of course, I planned almost everything except what to see while I was in Japan. It was great I met Yuta in Cambodia. I met him just by chance, but the fact I met him and talked to him, what I felt at that time is helping me take this step. I emailed him few days ago because I wanted to ask something, but haven't gotten a reply yet. If he's been doing well as he planned, he must have come back or, must be coming back soon. I don't know if he is busy and just not taking a look of his yahoo email nor if he doesn't feel like replying to me, but hope that he's doing well :) I don't expect getting a reply from him so much because it might have been much more treasure since the meeting never recurs. I feel it amazing; the meeting just by chance is pushing me forward. It's not too much to say that I went there to find an ore that can shine if I polish it. He is a guy and I'm a girl. I know we are not the same in some situations; girls are easier to get into a trouble sometimes. But it doesn't mean I can't do anything. I just need to take care of something much more than guys, and maybe sometimes, I have to give up something. There is still a chance to try.

The situation in my work place is currently going to change. A few people are quitting, and few more are leaving soon and won't come back for a while because they are pregnant. The schedule of work is gonna be tough for everyone. So, this is my last chance. I don't think I can take a long vacation at least in a year if I miss this time. Actually, it's not so long as you think. The longest vacation I can take at a time is just a week. However, the length is not available anymore at least for a while. I know I can't do everything on my wish at once, but hope I can accomplish few things. I already got flight tickets. I know a safe and easier way, but I'm gonna choose a little bit adventurous way. Almost for 5 days. I have to plan how to spend those days and choose which wish lists I can accomplish :P There are still almost two months :P