September 29, 2008

Cofortable Works

I like poems of Aida Mitsuo. He might not be so popular, but I'm sure maybe everyone has seen one of his works once at least. Especially recently, his poems are shown in the screens of JR trains.

However I wrote that I like his works just now, it doesn't mean that I have read his poems a lot. Maybe I just like the style of his works. He writes his poems with an unique letters. So, what I meant was maybe everyone has seen his poems with his letter. They are so peculiar and maybe you will remember it that you've seen it before when you see them again.

The other day, I went to his museum. There were a lot of his poems and they are replaced a few times in a year. It was my first time visiting the museum but I felt that I wanted to go there again. I felt calm at the place. What made me surprised was there were English translations beside each poem that was put on the walls. Regretfully, there wasn't any English translations in the goods at the museum store, but I think that it is still interesting to go to the museum and see his poems and buy some goods. His works are really tasteful and maybe you like them...But it's just my guess :P

Stumbling does not matter; to err is human.

September 25, 2008

Human Relationships

Special days help me with meeting my friends. However I had some good friends in my school life, I haven't hung around with them so much. I like my friend Kaori so much but haven't even go shopping with her! We also haven't been somewhere just with each other. We sometimes say things like that "Let's go somewhere together" but I haven't gotten the chance yet. Usually, we meet at drinking parties that I make and some events of our circle in the university, so the chances are little.

Let me write about our past. I belonged to a circle when I entered my university. In the same grade, five people including me belonged there firstly. Three guys and two girls. Mayumi was one of them. She was a talkative and fun girl. We got close soon. After a while two other girls came. One of them was Kaori. Kaori belonged to the same group with the other girl in her school life, and they were close. We had some events in the circle but I was feeling that it was something hard to be close to the two girls since they were so close. I told it to Mayumi and she felt the same way.

After a year, the the things changed a lot. Kaori and the other girl didn't speak to each other anymore. It's because the other girl started going out with one of us, and didn't like Kaori talking to him. She got so jealous when she found them talking enjoyably one day and got so mad. She accused Kaori and stopped talking. At the same time, Mayumi repeated a year. So Kaori and me got closer since then. The couple became unsociable because of the girlfriend's jealousy. I asked them to come to drinking parties sometimes but stopped because they didn't come however I asked them again and again.

The girlfriend was a really jealous person. I don't know if it's because he was her first boyfriend, but her actions were too terrible sometimes. For example, he used to have a lot of friends to talk with. But his girlfriend didn't like it when he talked to his friends no matter they were guys or girls, and made him stop talking to them. She didn't allow him to email his female friends, even we couldn't talk to him like before. Soon, they stopped coming to the circle. I saw him on the campus sometimes, but couldn't talk to him so much. And since then, Kaori and me have kept becoming closer and closer.

Alittle bit before, we had a farewell and welcome party of two important people of our circle. I contacted Kaori beforehand, and we both went there. It was the 3rd or 4th time that I met her after graduation. We talked a lot about our jobs, love, etc. I thought that only three out of seven people of our grade would come, but a special one came lately. It was him. One of the couple came! I was so glad talking to him again. I thought that I should start asking him again when we make events. I'm not sure if he can come...I even don't know if he still go out with her, but I don't want to break our relationship anymore. He might feel sorry if he can't come however he's asked a lot, but it will be better than nothing. I'm sure that seven of us' common feeling is about us, the days around when we went to a hot spring together was the best. We all were close and sharing enjoyable time. Maybe the time was the most precious time of our relationship and it would be the best time forever. We can't go back, we have to keep going. Our relationship got lost, but I got Kaori as one of my best friends instead. Someday, I want to go to hot spring with her again. I really hope we can be good friends forever.

September 11, 2008

Thumb Seeking (Seal -2-)

When the train went into the tunel, the sun's glare vanished.
It was 4 o'clck in the evening. Takeshi was shaken up by the train. It is screeching in a fixed manner.
March 25th - the universitiy is already in its spring break. Takeshi had been with his friend from university Tsuchiya Yuuki moments ago. All of a sudden he got a call from Yuuki, and he asked Takeshi to come with him to take a look at some cars because he wanted to buy one soon. Takeshi didn't have to work at that day, so he decided to go with Yuuki. As a result, he has been taken around since morning.
The day is the day that Takeshi can't forget. No, it's the day that he must not forget. It has been just 7 years since Yumi suddenly disappared. The 7 years went so quickly. Takeshi turns twenty this year.
Is Yumi alive now?
His hope is for her to be alive. But if he says he didn't give up, it would be a lie. Because he didn't even hear a single word about her in these 7 years.
He will become an adult soon. He rememberd a conversation with Yuuki thinking about things like that.
After all that seraching they couldn't find a car that Yuuki liked. On the way to the station, the words that came out of Yuki's mouth were almost exclusively about cars.
"Only the driving skills test is left. So I have to get my car quickly to be able to drive it soon after getting mt licence."
Takeshi got tired of Yuuki's constant babbling about cars. Yuuki's always been the talkative type, but at that time his excitement level was beyond the norm.
Takeshi and Yuuki both belong to the faculty of Japanese literature at their university. They got close little by little taking advantage of sitting next to each other. And now, they meet on holidays.
"Hey, Takeshi."
Surprisingly Takeshi recovered his senses. He thought about what happened 7 years back.
"Oh, sorry. Well, what was the topic about?"
Yuuki got mad and clicked his tongue.
"Well, was the written exam difficult?"
Takeshi got his drive license as soon as he graduated from highshool. He passed the written exam and the driving skills test smoothly. So, he is kind a Yuuki's senior.
"Yeah, you can't pass it if you don't study in some degree."
"I know that. Hey, can't you ask me a few questions?"
"I don't remember any questions. Maybe I can't pass it if I take it now."
"Then, it's okay to ask me your own questions. Ask me some questions."
"I wonder if I can make my own questions though." Takeshi looked doubtful.
"Damn, you are not useful. But, it's okay. Somehow I'll manage on the day of the exam."
As usual, Yuuki was going his own way. He kept talking like a chatty girl.
"Hey." Interrupting him, Takeshi moved his mouth.
"Uh? Why did you get serious all of a sudden?"
Takeshi found himself starting to tell about that incident.
"Sorry, nothing."
"What? I wanna know. Say it," said Yuuki fretfully.
"No, there is really nothing."
"Anyway, say it!"
Once things become like that, Yuuki was so persistent. He seemed he wouldn't stop asking until Takeshi said something. Takeshi gave up and told him about it as a rumor.
"It's just a rumor."
Yuuki nodded.
"I just suddenly remembered about it."
"About what?"
"Have you ever heard of a rumor about thumb seeking when we were the age around a kid at elementay shool?"
Takeshi finally broke the seal.
"Thumb seeking? What's that?" Yuuki scowled nervously. Takeshi evaded.
"Ah, I also just heard about it. Just suddenly it came on my mind."
"I see, but I really don't know about it."
"Yeah, I see."
When Takeshi smiled and made it all right, Yuuki started talking about cars again. Takeshi felt it easier talking about cars.

When the train shook hardly, Takeshi found himself holding a strap. He bowed lightly and sayd sorry in a low voice since he hit a person beside him.
As he was vacantly viewing outside of the window holding the strap, he heard a conversation between three highschool girls sitting in front him. Their discussiion reached his ears naturally, but he wasn't all that concerned.
"Wasn't the movie scary, especially the last scene."
"Yeah, I was about to scream."
"But it's just a movie in the end. It's just a made-up story."
It was just small talk. Their voices were very loud and they stood out conspicuously. Based on the old lady's facial expression, she looked pretty annoyed.
"By the way, did you watch the TV program last night?"
"Yup, I did. There were some stories that we knew. I felt those ones were more terrifying in comparison to the events that transpired in the movie."
"In particular, there were a lot of stories when we were school girls."
"Yeah, there were. I head of 'kokkurisan,' but it isn't a scary story."
"Ah, I know that."
"The story 'The samurai in the grasses' that Tomo told us was scary, wasn't it?"
"Eh? What was the story about?"
"Tomo and her friends played with a ball in a park when they were schoolgirls and schoolboys. And then, Tomo kicked the ball and it went into the grass by accident. Another kid went to find the ball but she couldn't find it anywhere. And when she started going back, she suddenly saw a samurai style guy covered with blood."
"Isn't it scary? And then?"
"It was too shocking and scary so she lost her consciousness. They all went together to see the samurai in the grass next day."
"Suddenly blood came out of Tomo's leg, so it was cut! Then at the next moment, suddenly the girl who lost her consiousness said, 'did you come here to find me?' in a different voice. Don't you find it scary?"
"It's really freaky!"
"I have another story too."
"What's that?"
"The story 'thumb seeking.'"
All of the noises; the train noise, the cell phone's ringing noise etc. dissapeared into her words.
At the moment, Takeshi reacted sensitively. He looked at the girls. Without noticing it, three of them keep talking.
"Thumb seeking? What is the story about?"
"I don't know the detail either. In the story, a woman was living in a villa alone. One day, she was killed in the villa and dismembered. But only her left thumb remained missing."
"Isn't it creepy?"
"It's a story about going finding the lost left thumb..."
"How do you find it?"
"I don't know. Wasn't the part going to find it made up to scare people?"
No, it's wrong. Takeshi was stupefied and gazed at them.
'Do you know thumb seeking?'
Yumi's voice came back on his mind.
He didn't expect them to talk about the story. He swallowed his saliva and looked at them hard. Then, one of the girls noticed him gazing at them.
"Sorry...? "
Coming to his senses, he realized that they were looking at him. A sense of shame emerged within him.
Takeshi let the strap go and went to another cart, it looked as if he were trying to escape.

September 8, 2008

I'd Rather Choose...

I remember that I wrote about taking snapshots almost a year ago. This time, I will write about it again. As you know, most people can't smile naturally when a camera is focused on them. About me, it's the same. It's impossible for me to make a non forced smile in front of a camera unless I'm really enjoying something and don't care about the camera so much. What do I do at that time then? I'd rather choose making a funny face at the situation.

I've made funny faces when I took printclubs too. I was trying to smile before, but one day I stopped since I noticed that it was impossible for me. Gladly, I was good at making funny faces more than other friends of mine (some friends said my face was something like I gave up being a girl sometimes, lol), so I started trying making such faces instead. The more my face in the printclub becomes horrible/funny one, the more happy I got. You know, when you try smiling naturally in a picture, but if you notice that it was not the face you wanted to make, you'll get upset and maybe you can't like the picture so much. But if you made a funny face in the picture and it was horrible/funny more than you thought, it's a success! So, I can be more happy in the situation since I made a face better than I expected. Maybe some girls can't understand but I'm still happy enough because surely I can make my friends laugh with my funny face :P

September 2, 2008

Thumb Seeking (Seal -1-)

"I have had very strong abilities to see ghosts since I was a kid, so I've encountered them a lot."
Takeshi got interested in the female performer's words in the screen talking innocently. He woke up slowly and sat crossing his legs on the bed.
"Really?" Asked the MC in a strained manner.
"Yes, the first time I saw it was when I was in third grade. I suddenly woke up at midnight. And then, I saw my dead grand father standing before me. I felt that he was saying something to me, but did't know what he was saying. Grandpa? I called him, and he disappared softly."
"Weren't you scared?" Asked the MC curiously. The performer shaked her head.
"It was definetely not scared. I was glad rather than it. I was a kid who really liked grandpa."
"But if I were you, I'd get scared, if a dead person were standing." The MC reacted exaggeratedly. The performer chuckled and said I see.
"I don't know why, but ghosts I encounter are't scary. Like when I was temporarily paralysed, an elf was running in front of my eyes. I didn't know what it meant." "I don't know either." Smiled the MC.
"And I had an out-of-body experience once."
"An OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCE?" Takeshi reacted sensitively and gazed at the TV much more.
"Master, what is an out-of-body experience?" The MC turned his face to the medium and asked.
The medium who puts a lot of rosaries moved her mouth.
"Simply, it's understandable to say that it is a thing that your soul goes out from you body. The soul can move freely. It is an out-of -body experience. Some people say that it is a dream, but I don't think so."
The MC gave affirmative nods.
"Did you really experience such a thing?" He turned his body to the performer again.
"Yeah, it's true. At that time, I woke up at midnight too. But surprisingly, I saw me sleeping. I got scared. I was floating in midair."
"And then?"
"I got happy about myself floating and went out of home and went various places. But I suddenly got scared, and a critical mind like I have to go back crossed my mind, and went back to my body."
After hearing that, the MC folded his arms with making a wry face. He nodded and said, "I can't imagine. I haven't experienced it even once. But I remember that we livened up with scary stories and rumors when we were little kids. We have made some scary sotries by ourselves too."
Takeshi turned off the TV reflecxively. It became silent again. After breathing out and standing up from the bed, he sat down in front of his study desk.
The desk was messy. A laptop. Comic books. Teaching materials of his university. Coins and convenience store's receipts. Sunglasses. Rubber bands. An eraser was there too. Regardless of how messy his desk was, one thing was actually kept organised. It has been 7 years since that happened.
Takeshi streched his hand to his collection of graduation compositions. He turned the pages.

'My Dream' 6-3 Sawa Takeshi
I want to become the best cook in the world. The reason why I think so is, when I was watching TV by chance, a cook was making a very nice food. He gave it to guests. They said it was yummy and their face looked very satisfied. When I saw it, I felt that I wanted to make a yummy food too. In the future, I wanna go abroad for training, start my own restaurant, make yummy foods, and want to become a cook that guests say yummy to my foods. So, therefore I want to start studying about foods a lot.

When he finished reading his composition, he was smiling. He doesn't think about such a thing these days. He can't even use a kitchen knife, and also isn't interested in it. He was thinking that he wanted to become a cook at that time by chance. He jeered at himself for writing that he wanted to become a cook as a child. Usually, things are like that. There are not so many people whose wishes were realized. We don't know about the future. He lives an ordinary life without thinking about his dream. No, it's wrong. When he thinks about something, things about Yumi always cross his mind. He is bound by the past. Takeshi always had a guilty conscience.

'Memories of My 6 Years and Me' 6-3 Tadokoro Yumi
I made various friends in these 6 years. Takeshi, Chie, Tomohiko, Nobuhisa; these are the four people whom I've became especially friendly with in my 6th grade class. We were also in the same group during our school trip. Five of us hung around after school a lot. They sometimes came to my house and played video game, card game, sometimes went to the park and played hide-and-seek, so they were really fun.
I had made bead accessories with Chie. We also made a ring that make things whatever we wish become true if it doesn't break until we become an adult. I want to value it.
And I want to become a school teacher. If I can, a teacher at an elementary school. I want to become a teacher like our cheerful class teacher Ms.Itagaki. So, I want to study a lot after entering junior highschool and make efforts to become a teacher.

Takeshi closed the composition gently. If we didn't do such a thing at that time, Yumi might have made an effort to become a teacher, or she might have aimed for other goals. Anyway, Yumi isn't here anymore. From that moment on, it was apparent that her dreams could not be fulfilled.
'Thumb seeking'
If we didn't do such a thing at that time.