January 29, 2011

Preparing For A New Step

The other day, my friend asked me if I can live abroad. He also asked me if I've lived outside of Tokyo in Japan and if I can live there. What I can say now is, living somewhere else is welcomed if I find a reason enough to move and if it worths changing my life. I think I'll be fine and I may even enjoy problems if I have something happy to live with.


Sending the last fax for advancing paying the last student loan, I was proud of myself. Finally, I'm finishing my student loan. It didn't even take half of the term I firstly planned :) I'm finishing it next month and will be free from loan. It's time to start working for a new aim; being independent. So, I want to move out...hopefully this summer.

Finishing student loan is a kind of period for me. I know I'm not skilled as lab technician, but at least I paid back something I've owed using the license I've got. At this point of view, I can say that I didn't waste the 4 yeas I studied at University. However, it's still almost just a way to earn money for me. It means, I don't have to be stuck on this. Of course, I'm not thinking of quitting this job right now. I'm just saying that quitting can be one of the choices when I have to change my environment, and it seems I can get some other ways to live. Anyway, it's not the time yet. For now, I'm just thinking of living by myself for a year at least. One year after, something may have happened...may not have happened. I may like my job very much and working really hard, may have found someone and thinking of marriage seriously, or may have found that I really don't want to do this job anymore and want to find something else to earn money, may seriously think about living somewhere else...I don't know what will happen in the future, but my closest aim for now is to start living by myself and enjoy it :)

January 15, 2011

Are You Same As Me?

It's just a plate of metal.
It's much cheaper than diamond, so you may thing I'm a cheap girl, but actually, the thing is much more valuable than jewelry.
I say, I'm glad as a person because I feel I'm trusted.
I'm allowed to come to a small space which people don't let others to stay in their absence because the place is very private and filled with personal stuffs.
I can be a part of the world and mostly, only one person is allowed to be.

I say, I'm not so interested in jewelry itself displayed in a store. However, I'm very interested if I find a meaning added on it. Because what I appreciate is the action and consideration the person went through before buying it and giving it.

Let's think about an engagement ring.

Maybe he thought about whole of his life and finally decided to walk with the only one girl till he dies. He has serious feelings and determination that he will take care of the girl, doesn't mind going through the toughness sometimes and try to overcome problems with her. Such invisible decision and promise are given to the girl as a visible ring.

So, do you think same as me, or do you feel it's a bullshit?

I think things what I want can't be really seen. They are hidden behind other things and you can only feel and guess. You can't be 100% sure about it since the thing itself isn't visible. I sometimes want them in visible ways like words or things for confirmation, so I can feel a little bit better, however, I also know that it can't be sure actually, as one of pair rings lying idle in a drawer tells.

January 12, 2011

The Key of This Year Is...?

In the first 1/3 of January in 2011 was full packed with work and small events. I went to grand parents house to meet relatives on 1st, had a whole day shift till next morning on 2nd, went to karaoke on 3rd after work, worked on 4th, had a whole day shift again on 5th (I chose it to get days off as I wanted so I don't complain, but it was a kind of tough, lol), met a friend from the US after work on 5th, hung out in Tokyo with two Canadians on 7th, worked half day and stayed over at a co-worker's "sweet home" with other co-workers on 8th, left there early in the morning next day for snowboard trip and came back home at 10th night. What a busy new years days! I think this year was actually the busiest one, lol. Since I knew that I had 12th off, I could 頑張る yesterdays work, but it was tough actually because I have muscle pains all over the body. Plus, because of those tight schedules, I hadn't slept enough these days. So this morning, I slept like a baby and woke up at 12:00 :P

There is a proverb "一年の計は元旦にあり (New Year's Day is the key of the year)" and I know I haven't planned anything about this year yet, and if I say more, I didn't clean the mess of last year in the end of the year because of my busy schedule (I know it's just an excuse...), but at least, I'll write down some wish lists (objective?) for 2011 here.

Maybe everyone in my workplace thinks that's "me" when they hear this word. I'm not thinking of stopping this until my life completely changes and it's not available anymore. I'm still not sure if I get a chance this year...but hopefully I do. This is an ultimate single play that makes me feel alive. I go, I see, I eat, I feel, I live...I meet something, it influences me, and I'll be someone.

Human can't live alone. But beside being helped by someone, everyone has to be independent in some degree. As a girl who already reached around the age, I know that I really have to become one of them. For the reason of student loan, I haven't moved out yet, but the reason will disappear soon because I already paid back almost all of it. I'll finishing it in a few months and it means that it'll be done earlier than I expected. Since I don't like the status "having a loan", I decided to pay it back in 5 years when I started working. But it'll actually be done in 2 and half years since I started repaying. The original debt is roughly 2.6 million yen and I saved up a million yen beside paying it back. I also have been spending money on things like clothes, traveling, dining out etc. I think I'm doing well enough for my salary v(^_-)-☆ However, it's because I live with family. I won't have loan anymore when I finish paying, however, I'll get more expenses just to live once I move out. I'm not sure if I really leave house since I'm getting someone to "feed" just on paper from next month and if it's possible even if I move out...anyway, we'll see.

As a girl who is missing the wave of marriage and becoming what is called a loser in general (lol), I think there will be chances to do something with friends (like attending wedding parties and stuff) more than doing something about myself if I talk about events. I think the marriage boom is still there this year as well, the topics related to such things never stop when I talk with friends around my age. There are lots of things that I want to tell, but I'm refrain from posting it here because I feel stupid to write it here now. At least, I want to become a girl who is attractive as a human and can make people around me smile :)

There is not so many things I can say about this, because it's still just a way to live for me...At least, I have to be motivated for it...definitely.