Everything is By a Chance

'En' means a chance, fate, a relationship, a connection etc. Everyone has 'en' with someone and something, and can not live without it. I think that I have 'en' too, but always don't think that each of them are strong...maybe I'm afraid of believing something like a destiny. I think, every 'en' comes by a chance. They're not decided things before it happens, just happens accidentally. However, such accidents may make someones fate...I'm sure that what I'm writing is contradictory.

By the way, I like songs of surface. It is an artist from Japan, and I prefer their past songs that were made several years ago or so. I like their lyrics. I think that their songs arouse people's sympathy. Here, it is one of their songs whose title is 'en'.

En / surface

My songs should be listened to like this because of some chances

I'd like to think a great deal of it in the connections with various people

With someone, I can understand each other more than words

However my words didn't touch another one as I thought

I know that all of them are not fate

But I hope my words will reach more far

For example, if I got be unable to sing

How many connection wouldn't break?

'The relationship with them won't break however I try breaking it'

I wanna think like that though it is out of my character

Somehow I remember about you lately

Did the relationship with you end at that time?

I hope that one day I'll meet you by a chance and can say

'Hi, how's going?'

For example, if I was gone involuntarily

Someone would be going to worry about me?

They will wait for me coming back with smile

And will think that I'm as always

For example, if I got be unable to sing
How many connection wouldn't break?
'The relationship with them won't break however I try breaking it'
I wanna think like that though it is out of my character

Making friends like 'them' is not easy. I usually make some walls around me and don't show my real intention. Hmmm...It's better to say my character? Maybe everyone plays a part that people around the person want him/her to be in some degree. The character the person is playing should be not completely different from him/her...maybe it is part of the person. However, it shouldn't be real him too. Making oneself 100% sure to someone is impossible as long as they are different people. However, we can make the distance closer. For me, the person may be my good friend, boyfriend...or...I don't know. But I think if I break up with my boyfriend, and if he can become my Friend again, he will be a good friend who understands me a lot. Once we let each other know deeply he should know me much deeper than other normal friends.

I also think among close friends, there is fellow feeling. It doesn't exist upon the fear like the case of bullying...but exists on trust. I trust one of my ex-bf, lol. We hadn't been keeping in touch for a while, but when I bumped into him, it was easy to say hello. He had helped me when I was dying for a reason...He spent his time and money a lot however I was already not his gf. I thank him. I believe that he will help me again if I am in a really really serious trouble, and ask him to help. And I want to help him if he is involved in a serious trouble too :)

I don't have a lot of friends, but have a few good friends who I can say the names if I am asked to list my good friends. I think that's a happy thing. I can share every thought of mine with them. I'm glad that one of my ex-bf became one of my good friend because there are a lot of couples who don't want to see each other after breaking up (but to tell the truth, there was some while that we were like that). I don't think that it is fate but think that it is some 'en' that relationships with my friends is like this now :)