In The End Of This Year

Waiting for another train to transfer, I was so so exhausted. It's a pretty nice day. I saw the sunshine, the air was mild, and I didn't feel cold...actually, it was comfortable. Getting up at 6 on this nice holiday, leaving home around 7, and I wondered why I had to wait for a train beside a couple kissing and whispering...making their own world...it's totally unfair to stand beside those people while almost falling asleep!! I haven't slept enough these past some days, so I definitely wanted to stay in my futon for hours more, but too bad I have to stay at the lab. However, I thought about taking advantage of this duty time and prepared for it last night because I still have lots of things to do and I can do if I'm not busy at work.

This year was something; The passage of time started with a very slow speed. Just a week felt like a month, and there was not so many things that I can be happy with. Having vague ideas that can be never cleared, I was growing negative feelings inside everyday. It was just tough. How sad even it goes really slow, the time never stops and I can't go back. In the end of January, I left for my short solo trip...Singapore and Cambodia.

During my trip, I got to meet a lot of people. Firstly, I met my sweet Singaporean friend and his family. They are always very nice to us and I really appreciate it. I always feel that they take care of us too much (of course in good meaning)...as friends that they don't see or talk so often, but that makes me feel that I'm so welcomed :) I'll never forget about the favor and will surely do return it back when they come to Japan. Actually I want to be like them. I will be really glad if I can help my good friends be happy just like how they made me happy. It's not so easy to make it work though because it shouldn't be my one-sided favor that actually makes people feel bad.

In Cambodia, I met a guy from Osaka and it made me decide to visit Vietnam. And it became my debut trip as a backpacker(?), lol. I know that it may not be correct to call me a backpacker, because of the length of the trip, etc. However, it was totally something new for me. Searching for a place to stay that night in the cheap hostel area, having meal with a guy who I met on the street or bus, fighting with a middle aged guy who wanted me to take his friend's 'bike taxi' somehow, the people who didn't give change to me when I bought something, making someone mad while bargaining...lol. Obviously, I'd been loving traveling. However, I always went traveling with sister or friends. But not anymore. I'll travel with someone and also by myself. Just one of the choices has been deleted. Maybe, I'll never give it up because of "I don't have anyone to go with".

It wasn't only during trip that I got to meet new people. I met some friends through friends, and some photographers through online. I'm glad that I can hang out with them sometime and my weekends became busier. I'm always glad when someone asks me out :) But recently, I also feel sorry because I can't afford it sometime because of my schedule :(

I also got some chances to do what I call 'serious play'. It helps me being positive and motivated a little bit more and always makes me enjoy and I also get something thrown in (*^_^*). General girls like me usually don't get so many chances to be taken pictures prettily, right? So I thank about it and thank my friend who gave me the first chance doing it with him ;)

From the end of summer, wedding rush suddenly hit me. I attended 4 parties in 4 months. All of the brides are same age friends of mine, so it's something impressive to realize that I'm already around the age that is no wonder to get married. It's scary to admit that soon I'll be too old to "consume"...maybe the clock is ticking? I remember when one of my friends told me that she was going to get married. It was exactly one year ago. We were at izakaya having food and drink and she came late because she worked overtime. As soon as she came we found a stone sparkling on her 4th finger and everyone wanted to hear about the story. Especially a friend who's going out with her bf longer than her, was asking lots of questions to her. Actually her bf was there, so maybe she wanted to give him a pressure, lol. Beside it, I didn't feel like joining the conversation cheerfully. Of course I was happy to hear that, but was also wondering how such things works. A girl got proposed by a guy with his faithful heart. He decided to spend the rest of his life with her and promised that he would take care of her. Besides, a girl is left by a guy. She was left with sweet words that were empty inside. However the words sounds nice, the guy chose leaving her. There was no point. What is the difference between those couples? What separates their future go toward here and there? Anyway, I think the wedding rush doesn't finish for a while because I already got another one next year...and she is younger than me :P

These two months were really busy having wedding, traveling, of course working and stuff. I like it when I'm busy as long as I'm not tired too much. Actually the thing decided by myself made my schedule very tight, as I mentioned in a past post, I went to see pretty illumination to Kobe :) I think I traveled a lot this year. Of course I want to do it more, but as a girl having this job, I think its enough to say good enough. I'm sure something is different from last year, so it means I've been changing somehow. I hope that it's in a positive way. And I just noticed I'll finish paying back my student loan just in a few months!! I was thinking of paying back in 5 years when I started it, but actually, I'm finishing it in 3 years, (It was supposed to take for 15 years if I pay back normally.) and I haven't been sacrificing things so much beside it. I go drinking, I go traveling, and of course eat yummy foods sometimes, etc. And I've also saved some money XD Well done me! *clap clap* Now, it's time to think about moving out seriously...My senior says that its fun to be a 30s solitary single woman. Mmm, it might be because they earn some more than 20s, and doing well at work. Maybe I'll be putting one foot in there because I've told by a gentleman that I'm too strong for Japanese guys, lol. But I think it's more fun to live with someone :)

Anyway, it took for hours to finish writing this since I'm doing some work. So, this was my year. Maybe I'll read my old posts again when I have time and share the feelings with myself in the past? ;) This might be the last post for this year, but I'm sure I'll write a new post again if I have time till the end of this year :P