March 21, 2011

The Spring Dream I've Had One Day


When I decided it, this song was playing in my head.
♪I'm coming to see you by train~
..Actually, not by train when I'm going...maybe I have to change the lyrics and say ♪I'm coming to see you by overnight bus~, lol.

This week has been very busy. On Monday, transportation was messed up. Because of the planned black out, JR line didn't come to my station They cut down the number of trains and also reduced the area. Some lines were not even working. I already knew that the line I take wasn't coming to my station at that time, but left home earlier than usual with having a small hope that it might come when I get to the station. However, the front door of the North exit was closed (I saw it closed for the first time!) and two staff was telling people that the line won't come today and we have to walk outside of the station to South entrance if we want to take Keio line (usually, we can go through the station). When I was leaving home, I already saw a text message from my boss telling me that I don't have to come (actually, he could not come) because it may be so tough and I may not be able to go back home later. Even though I read it, I chose going to work somehow because the day was my turn to stay over at the lab. So, I told my boss that I was gonna come, and it took for 4 hours to my workplace...so stupid! I experienced being in a very packed train for the first time in 10 years or so (I hadn't experienced it since I graduated high school) and was already tired when I finally got to work. Actually I had a cold since a few days ago, and it made me feel even worse enough to make me see a doctor after work. And since the Seibu line didn't come to the station, I walked for 40 minutes to the closest JR station.

Even next day, I wasn't allowed to sleep well. I got up one hour earlier than usual because the trains were not working normally yet, and next day again...I found myself being tired because of those stuff. At the night I stayed at the hospital, I was supposed to get up at 3 in the morning, test blood samples of some patients that have serious status at that time, and then turn off all the machines to prepare for the black out. You know how much I got relieved when I heard the black out was going to be canceled...And when the weekdays were finally over, I noticed that every plan I had on weekend was canceled again. I know I can't say anything if I was told to think about the people in Tohoku that were attacked by tsunami...however, it was something. I was stressed and also lost the chance to release those stress. Drinking, wedding, performance...every event was and is going to be canceled and having a boring a day because of it, however I didn't feel like playing around stupidly. And today? WORK. I think it's coming to touch the line soon if I keep feeling like this. It's something more mental. I know that it doesn't matter for me to work harder than usual, however, if I don't have anywhere to let go the stress, it does matter. Actually, I know what I want. I know what saves me from this depression, and makes me feel calm and composed. However, it's not available. That means I need to deal with it by myself somehow, so I decided to go on a short trip this weekend. But to be honest, I wonder if it will work...I hope it will make me feel better even if it will be only a little bit...

The day is almost there, 頑張れ myself.

2 comments:

Jeff said...

Yeah, I can totally relate. Been such a mess at work lately, so stressed out. Want to get away somewhere to relax but don't know where. Must be even worse there with the disasters compounding everything. I hope you get to vent and relax on your trip. :)

Megumi said...

Haha, thanks. I don't know if it works, but hope that it will let me relaxed a little bit at least :)