I Was Not Dreaming Last Time But...

Cherry blossoms reminded me about words someone said. When I heard it, I was in a dream. When I remembered it, I was in reality.

Shortest way isn't always the best way when you go somewhere. I think it's important to slow down or stop sometimes, look around or take another path and think about yourself: Which direction are you going toward?

There are landscapes you can never see by taking an airplane unless you take a train.
There are are things you can never notice by taking a train unless you walk.

We tend to choose an easier way to get to the destination. Yeah, it's not bad, if getting there is the only aim. But it might not be so impressive. When I remember about my trip to Thailand. It's like that. I didn't do anything. It was almost a full packaged tour. We took an airplane, and when when we got there, the tour guide took us here and there, did anything we needed...I really don't remember where I went. I mean, of course I took pictures so I know how they looked, but they are just not so impressive.

I went to Thailand.
I spent time there.
I had fun with my friends.

That's it. If I have some choices in the future, I'll never do it again.

Don't take it wrongly, I'm not saying it was bad. I guess, I've just changed. Like now, what I require from my trip is something that pushes me forward, something that introduces me things I've never seen. They might be tough or adventurous sometimes, but I'll rather choose the way. But I'm not gonna do something beyond me as long as I know it's not too dangerous. I don't wanna take a risk that may lose my life, but just extending my arm to the thing I may reach when I stand on tiptoe is okay.

I'm not dreaming. I'm standing with my feet on the ground.
I just want to see.
I just want to see and decide: Which way is good to pass. Which way is beyond me.

Sometimes, I may ask for an advise. However, I'm not gonna be swayed by it.
It may be just for expanding my choices.
It may be just for keeping a different idea somewhere in my mind.

Because, however critical people are, I can't deceive or betray myself.

Empty Wallet

I want to say, it hadn't been planned for my wallet to buy any clothes today...

I went out with my sister because she wanted to go shopping. She lives in Yugawara city which locates close to Hakone (you know there is nothing but hot springs, lol). So, whenever she comes back here, she wants to go shopping. Even though here is rural area in Tokyo, it's still something "urban" compared to the place she lives.

Anyway, guess what happens if two girls go shopping. I found a cute one-piece dress at a store. I don't have any plans to attend someones wedding party or high-end restaurants for now (hey, does anyone take me to such places?! :P), but that one-piece dress is kind of something I can wear in such a situation :) It's not that gorgeous (I'm too shy to wear really pretty clothes ^_^;), but looks good enough for beginner like me, lol. Anyway, JUST TRYING IT ON IS FREE. But it's a whisper of devil at the same time. Yes, I bought it!! (clap clap orz)

Let me make an excuse. I've found a very cute one-piece dress before. I tried it on, and it looked ok. However, I felt somewhere was tight...so I didn't buy it (T_T) It's hard to find right size clothes I really like. Therefore it was kind a good thing I bought it today...if only I am rich...

Now, I got a pretty one-piece dress. But I still have to find something I can wear on it, and some shoes and bag which suit them :) And of course, I have to get a chance to go somewhere I can wear them :P

Just Envy, Just Jealous, Want To Live In A Dream

Just wanna tell, his words impress me. I don't know why, but I like his notes. It's hard to explain by words tho. Mostly, the topics are about small things. Small things..but they make me smile and I feel something warm in my heart. I might be just envying him because he has something I want.

Ah..I miss Cambodia. Actually, I miss traveling. How does it feel going to other countries by myself without having a shortly limited time? How does it feel using local transportation to move from place to place carrying a backpack?

Hey, how was your 16 hours bus ride to Laos?
Hey, why can you go somewhere with someone you don't know?
Hey, please tell me about the stories you met during your trip.

IF, I get a chance to meet him again, I have a lot of things to ask. I want to listen to his stories, I want to browse his pictures :)

Of course he was overcharged or cheated sometimes. He was even robbed money in Chiang Mai. But beside getting into such troubles, he didn't stop being concerned with people. I know not everyone is bad. Maybe most of people are kind. However, in the situation of being on a trip, probably most people who are coming close to us by themselves have some mind of getting benefit. On his note, he wrote that being in countries like Cambodia or Vietnam, he was naturally overcharged by taxis, it was not rare today's price was different from yesterday at the same store, and in the end, he was asked for a direction, so he told kindly, but after all, he was soaked money and he was kind of distrusted people because of such troubles. But when he went to Thailand, he met a nice woman. They went eat together, and she didn't let him pay for the meal and stuff.

He says; I've been tricked, and it sometimes made me feel it might be better not to be nice to people. But being with her, I really thought it was good that I'm not one of the people who deceive. Maybe she wanted to make a tourist who came to her country happy. If I am in Japan, and if I get to know someone who's visiting Japan from over sea, I definitely want them to go back to their country with happy feelings. It feels like I was told that I should do so by being with her. If I feel "Thailand is a very good country" because of only one person, it's possible for a Japanese to make someone feel "Japan is a very good country" from his/her bottom of the heart.

I wonder how many troubles he was involved during his trip. It's really good he is alive. I also wonder how many marvelous things he met!

Again, how does it feel going to other countries by myself without having a shortly limited time? How does it feel using local transportation to move from place to place carrying a backpack? It makes chances to share time with local people...I'm sure it's risky, but isn't it fun at the same time? I can experience something I can never experience being a full package tour staying at a gorgeous hotel :) I'm not interested in duty-free stores or high-end hotels. I'd rather feel local atmosphere.

I just envy, just jealous. I want to do the same thing he's doing. However, it's risky. It's like jumping into the sea naked. I may get into a lot of troubles under the sea, and however I come back to the seaside safely, I'm naked.

Freedom is not just free. I sacrifice something, bear responsibility, and get the freedom instead. I'm still not brave to throw everything away and jump into a dream land. But I know, it's up to me if I choose stable but boring life or risky but exciting life.

P.S. Please don't get mad about writing about your note. I don't know if you read this, but I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with someone who reads my blog :)